A wonderful blog!

An old high school friend of mine has an amazing blog! She does a lot of reviews on different products ranging from house hold cleaners to baby furniture! Right now she is doing a baby shower bash!

She is featuring reviews on baby items and doing some really amazing give aways! Right now she has a beautifull crib set by CoCaLo Naturals. I am hoping to win this give away because I am currently working hard to become a foster mom and it would be lovely to have such a beautiful bedding set for the babies we get. Go check her out!

Hard decisions and new found hope

Some times in life we are handed difficult decisions. Our wants have to take the back burner for the good of our families and the situation in general. I have always wanted a descent sized family and after having two children with disabilities my dreams were crushed to some degree. My husband and I both want more kids but being faced with a 75% chance of bringing another child into the world that would have some sort of disability with out knowing the severity of that disability put a damper in our plans. There are a lot of people that would call that irresponsible and selfish. My husband struggles with the thought of having another child that would more than likely be disabled so we came to the conclusion that actually having another baby was probably not going to happen.

I was devistated by this. The thought of not having more kids really upsets me. I was discussing this with my daughters therapist and she mentioned fostering. I did some research before my husband came home and found that it was something I was STRONGLY drawn to. I sort of feel that this is my calling. Shaunn and I have been discussing this now for a few days and I have an orientation on Tuesday evening to get the process started. He still has some concerns and I'm glad that he is so grounded because I have to admit at times I am full throttle and if I want it I will do anything in my power to get it.

Most of my family and friends have been VERY supportive and I appreciate their faith in me. Other's question my ability to handle this. They question me as a mother. Those folks have truely disappointed me. I think given my circumstances I am doing a good job. I have my moments but I think for the most part I do my best to give my kids all they need and more.

I look forward to the opportunity to have more children. To have more chaos. Disabled or not any child that I come into contact with will be loved and shown what a REAL family should function like. One thing that has some people worried is my ability to let go when a child is reunited with their birth parents. I have no doubt in my mind that it will be VERY difficult. I know full well that I'm facing heart ache when it comes to that. I also know that as long as I view it as a positive for the child that I will survive.

I'm so anxiouse to begin this process. I can't wait to get the first call telling me that a little one needs me. I'm not very good at anything. I'm not an artist, or a work horse, or skilled in any department to be honest. One thing I think I am good at is being a mom. I am good at taking care of children and I'm good at providing them with a loving nurturing home. I have a passion for it. I always said that I was born in the wrong era, I should have been born when it was natural for woman to stay home with the kids and be home makers.

If you are one of the folks that is skeptical about my abilities or my strength in general when it comes to being able to handle this, please give me some credit. Know that I will not blindly go into this with some fairy tale picture in my head. These kids have been through a lot. This will be hard. I WILL get educated as much as humanly possible prior to taking on any children.

Keep in mind that a lot of you that are skeptical are the same folks that questioned me about having the two kids I have. I was told I was too young, that I should abort, and that I should surrender my children to be adopted before they were even born. I may be young, but I'm not an idiot. I know what I'm capable of and what I'm not capable of. If I get to the point during training that I don't feel I can handle this, I will stop the process. If you love me then support me and be there for me instead of being negative and telling me what I CAN'T do. I can do ANYTHING I put my mind to.

Quick thing to share

I was googling for some recipes and stumbled across a wonderfull blog of tasty looking food. I was thrilled to find this blog and what made it even better is that the woman is a local Arizonan! Her food looks amazing and she has a lot of the same interests as Kc and I which include being a stay at home mom, cooking, blogging, and at least for me, photography! The name of her blog is "For the love of cooking". It's always exciting to find folks that share the same interests and lord knows I enjoy cooking so this one is a complete win win.

I get it now

Growing up I was teased and treated like garbage. I wasn't at the bottom of the totem pole but I was pretty close. I can remember going home and crying to my parent's about what the jerk off kids would say to me. The friends I did have were your typical elementary school kids. They were my friends, we would fight, they would say stupid stuff and gang up on me or whoever the target for the moment was. My parents would always tell me "Lainy, if you make it out of this world with one good friend you are truly blessed".

Now that I am 24 I can honestly say I finally get it. I have had so many friends over the years and despite some rough endings I am happy that I got to have each and every one of them in my life. Dealing with all of those people good or bad, has showed me what I truly want in a friend.

When I was in high school I met Kc. She and I would drive around for hours on end just talking and enjoying each other's company. Eventually we took different paths and lost touch with one another. A year ago she and I re-connected and I'm so happy we did. We have a unique connection that I don't think many people find in a friend. We compliment one another and she really brings out the best in me. I can depend on her no matter what. I can trust her with my deepest secrets and know that even if she disagrees with the things I have done she stands by me as a friend and tries to guide me in the right direction. I finally feel like I have a good influence in my life, someone I can be myself with and not worry about being judged or looked down on. It's kind of funny but she is the first person I talk to almost every morning and usually one of the last people I talk to at the end of the day. It doesn't matter if we are shopping or just bumming around our houses with our kids we have a ton of fun.

Kc you are an AMAZING woman. I'm so happy that I have the ability to call you my best friend. You are an amazing mother and wife and I strive to be just like you. It's kind of funny to look up to someone younger than me but I do. Your strength and dedication to all that you do leaves me speechless. If everyone had your drive and ambition this world would be a far better place. You know my biggest fear, God forbid the time should come I want you to know that I love you to pieces! Thank you so much for standing by me and helping me to become a better person. I can't wait to take our mommy trip and get to gab for hours! 24 hours of chatting it up sounds like a great escape!

Update on me

So it is now July. My oh my how time does fly. There has been a lot of progress in our home over the past couple of months. I guess I'll start with myself.

I have always had an issue with having my days and nights mixed up. I am now waking up between 6am and 8am daily. My best friend makes this a lot easier because she calls me everyday to ensure I'm awake. I am amazed at what I am capable of accomplishing when I get up early. My house is cleaner, my mind is clearer, and my family as a whole is benefiting from the change. I have been working hard making home made healthy meals for our family and cutting out the already limited fast food from our diets. I am also increasing the veggies and fruits in my daughter's diets. I want them to grow up knowing what a real meal is and knowing that real meals are not purchased through a drive through or made from a box. I want them to grow up not having to worry about their weight all the time. I want to give my kids the chance at a healthy lifestyle so that when they are older it's second nature. I feel like I have done a good job thus far. My kids are at healthy weights and they are really good eaters.

Shaunn is working very hard lately. He has taken on a second store so we are doing well for now. I am so thankful for him and all he does for our family. He made a friend finally! His friends name is Kemo and he is an islander from somewhere around Guam. His wife works for Arrowhead Health and is very nice. I'm so happy that my husband has someone to pal around with and do "man stuff" with. I also have managed to focus on one particular friendship. Kc and I have become best friends and while our time together rocks I fear my waistline will ultimately suffer some radical consequences. Her and I plan to take a trip over night out of town soon as my birthday gift to her. We are also working on reducing costs in our homes and she is also increasing the healthy foods in her home. We have decided to start making our own laundry soap and have even tossed around the idea of dish soap. She and I implemented a once a month movie night where we go to the movies and get away for a few hours and I think it's fair to say we both enjoy that!

Now onto my girls. Brey has really impressed us the last week or so. She is saying quite a few more words. She has learned "trash", "stop", "cow", "dog", "kitty", "mooo", "woof", "meow", "shhh", "uh huh", "are you ok" and that's all I can think of right now. That alone is 11 words, sounds, and one 3 word sentence! We are VERY proud of her. She is following simple commands when she feels like it and has developed quite the little attitude. She likes to hold her finger up to her mouth when she is being scolded and tell her father and I "shhhh". She also likes to scream "stop" at us when she is being scolded, Shaunn and I are having a hard time dealing with those two.

Natilee is a silly little girl. She is smart as a whip. She will listen to almost anything I ask of her including "go night night". She has learned how to say "no" and shake her head yes and no. She has become a picky eater as of late and I'm not sure where this is coming from. She is not a big fan of meat and if she doesn't think it looks good she wont try it. I am now to the point where if she wont willingly try it I pry her mouth open and MAKE her try it. Most of the time this works and she realizes she does like it but other times when she is being stubborn she will spit it out and yell at me.

I am working on moving the girls into their own bedrooms both for alone time and for the sake of their sleeping patterns. Nati moves a lot and Brey doesn't. Natilee is somewhat of an early riser and Brey is not.

Oh and home improvements! We have decided on a beautiful shade of green for our kitchen. We will do one wall in a dark green color called "frosted ivy" and then the remaining walls will be a liter shade on the paint card I have. One day this house will look like a home.

Well the kids are down for a nap so it's time to sweep and mop and finish up with my downstairs cleaning. Hope all is well with your families!

Love and Marriage

A little background on my little family prior to my actual blog:

I met the man that is now my husband when I was 15 years old. I met him through my cousin one night on msn messenger and from that point on we talked every evening online until the one day he finally let down his guard and gave me his phone number. We continued casually talking on the phone and through msn messenger until one day when I was lounging around my house and my cousin gave me a call and told me that she had brought Shaunn over to meet me for the first time. I quickly darted downstairs to my room and threw on a less than modest shirt and some overalls. I did a quick check of the hair and make up and ran out to meet my mystery man. When all was said and done and they had driven off I called my cousin and told her "Autumn, I'm going to marry that man." She giggled and called me crazy and next month we will be celebrating our 9 year anniversary.

I am writing this particular blog because as life goes on and we find ourselves drudging through the day to day sometimes we forget to stop and take in all the wonderful things in our lives. I am blessed with a wonderful husband that while yes, he does have faults, is a damn good father and husband. I have taken him for granted in the past and even caused him deep wounds. Our marriage is like the tide, ever changing, sometimes it's calm and other times it's rough. Right now we are at a very good place in our marriage. I find myself at the end of the day awe struck at how great my life is.

My husband had a friend over tonight for a friendly game of pool and while sitting in the garage he said something that almost brought me to tears. He told his friend that I am amazing and that he appreciates how hard I work. Hearing him say this made my entire year. As a mother and wife my work does seem to go unnoticed and that is a tough pill to swallow because my work is constant. I find myself trying harder and harder to be the "perfect housewife" I want to be that wife that he can brag about taking care of him. I want him to never run out of clean clothes, have the clean house, and a wife that can cook him meals every night for dinner.

Kc has provided me with a great source of inspiration. I look up to her in so many ways. She has inspired me to work harder as a mother and wife. She never stops amazing me with how dedicated she is to her family. She puts so much love into everything she does and even though most of it goes unnoticed she still wakes up before the sun and does house chores, makes breakfast, wakes her husband up with hot coffee and a steaming shower, cleans all day, and makes her husband an amazing meal which she then has to clean up.

I don't believe in the perfect marriage. I don't believe that anyone can sustain a marriage without hardship and the occasional disagreement. I do however believe that if you love someone enough that even the hard stuff can be worked through. I am a quitter in most things in life but the one thing I will continue to fight for is my family and my marriage. The day I said I do, I meant it. I meant every word. I will stand by his side until death do we part. I will honor him in sickness and in health. He is my other half. We balance each other out with our differences and strengthen each other with our similarities.

Trust your spouse. Believe in the power of marriage and in God. All things are possible in faith and Christ. Take a time out to remember why you are with your spouse. Remember all the amazing things about them that brought you together in the first place. Having children and working full time definitely allows a gap to wedge between two people but as long as you find that place for just the two of you love can prevail. For Shaunn and I that place is in bed when our feet just magically find one another, or camping when we can relax and just take in the fresh air, or even on the couch snuggled together watching a good movie. It doesn't matter what that place for you is. Just make sure you take the time to find your spouse. :D

Good night and God bless!

The modern domestic goddes

This weekend has been full of exciting things. Friday night Breyauna started puking, just when I thought we had safely escaped this awefull stomache bug. I spent almost all day Saturday sleeping because I was so exhausted from being up all night with my very sick girl. Once I finally woke up I spent my day cleaning (as usual) and planning out the days meals (or what was left of the day anyways).

My husband was busy out in the garage with my brother putting upgrades on my brothers car while the children ran around the house randomly stopping to watch sprout on the television. After doing some laundry, clearing out some clutter, and doing 3 loads of dishes I finally sat down to decide on dinner. I decided to make one of my older recipe's that my family adores. It is this delectable stir fry with a special glaze to coat the meat and veggies.

I pulled dinner off beautifully and everyone was super happy with it. There is nothing more fullfilling than creating a nourashing meal for your family to enjoy. Once I was done cooking I did more dishes and let the kids run around until about 9pm when I carried them upstairs for bed. Then I grabbed my amazing book and laid down in the spare bedroom and enjoyed some quiet reading. I have decided that reading is my new escape. It captures my attention and takes me to another place outside of house cleaning, bill paying, kids, and over all stress.

Today has been pretty busy as well. I double mopped the floors downstairs, prepped and am currently cooking dinner, did laundry, washed dishes, cleaned up the house. My next project is completing the laundry, finishing what I hope will be my last load of laundry, cleaning my bathroom which by the way is a complete disaster, bathing my children, putting them to bed, and doing the final go round with straightening up the house. Oh what a very exciting life us SAHM's have.

Time to get to work! Hopefully Kc and I will have a date this week, I need my fix lol.