It's not fair!

About 2 years ago I believe one of the greatest men I have ever known was diagnosed with cancer. He was given 6 months to live and he has managed to fight it and is still here today. The path to now has been painfull and exhausting for this friend and it kills me. Today we recieved word that the time is drawing near and I find myself panicking inside. I knew this was coming but I'm a master at denial and I didn't want to acknowledge the idea of losing him.

This man is like no one I have ever met before. He is a friend to all and he looks after and takes care of those that he knows. He would give you the shirt off his back if it meant you would be warm. There have been so many times, too many to count, that Shaunn and I would be struggling with how to do different things and he would sit with us in his garage for hours discussing options.

The most important thing here is that he is the father I have NEVER had. He showed me what it would have been like to have a real dad that was around and cared about me. I'm pissed off. I'm angry that such an amazing person is being killed by such a disgusting thing. Why him? How is it fair that there are so many piece of shit people out there but a truely amazing individual ends up with the deadly cancer. I want to see him again so badly before he is gone but we have to wait for our tax return and pray that he makes it that long and that we can get a babysitter.

I know the argument could be he is going with God, but I'm selfish and I don't want him to go with God. I want him here to shoot the shit with us, here to see Josh and Nathan grow up, here to see Shaunn and I possibly have another baby and here to watch Breyauna and Natilee grow up. I hate how far away he is. We wanted to fly him here to show him the house we got and how we painted the garage sublime green just like he did in his and now it seems that we wont be able to do that.

I know I should be thankfull for the time we have had with Roger and I am but it's not enough. I am pissed that such an amazing person is being taken from us while there is plenty of garbage out in the world that could be taken instead......pain